


Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

by asjhsjhdfk



Category: A Sex Therapist
Genre: M/M, and his name is shougo, he's also super ooc but i don't care because this manga doesn't have a fandom, not even a beelzebub-sized one, the beginning is bad but the end is catastrophic, this.....is......CRACK, tsuzuki has a first name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5299448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asjhsjhdfk/pseuds/asjhsjhdfk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsuzuki tries his hand at shapeshifting into the man of Kain's dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfiction and i don't know whether to be ashamed or ironically proud

“How is it that you’re able to shift into any guy your clients want, anyway?”

Kain blew on his coffee before taking a tentative sip and looking up at the poser of the question, who was now washing dishes with his back turned to the counter.

“I strip myself bare.” Inwardly smirking at the unamused glance Tsuzuki cast over his left shoulder, Kain set his cup down and leaned forward. “Not just physically, but spiritually. I become a blank slate, a template onto which clients project their utmost desires.”

“But how?”

“Training. Magic. Telling you would ruin the illusion, don’t you think?”

“‘S not like I’m a client.”

“Not for now.”

The man behind the counter snorted and put out his cigarette in a makeshift ashtray. “Hm.”

“Hm?”

“I was thinking.”

“That certainly is a surprise.”

“Shut up for a second. I was thinking, you know. And if you ever want to...try it out? I’d be cool with it.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“If you ever want to be on the receiving end of the...services you usually offer, maybe I could learn to shapeshift.”

“Oh.” Kain’s eyes widened, but his tips twisted upward and fell open in a melodic laugh. “It would be fun to see you try.”

***

So it was that a new pattern in Kain’s life began—of opening the door of the cafe each morning and sighing at the image of Tsuzuki, hunched over the counter, absorbed in a book about Buddhism or the Occult or some combination of the two—and of returning to the cafe after “work” and being bombarded with questions about abstract concepts completely unrelated to his own approach.

“I don’t  _know_  what jnani transcendence is, but I do know it isn’t relevant to steamy gay sex with the man of your dreams.”

“Not to sex, idiot! To shapeshifting! That ‘blank slate’ bullshit you were talking about before!”

“Maybe you should give up. You obviously started off with a misconceived idea of what I meant by ‘blank slate’ and it’s getting you nowhe—”

“I’m not giving up!”

“Why not?”

Tsuzuki turned bright red and turned away, muttering something about work and love. Kain decided not to pursue it further, finished his coffee and left.

*** 

Two weeks later, Kain determined that he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Tsuzuki Shougo. Give. It. Up.”

“No.”

“Tsuzuki—”

“I said no, Kain. It’s something I want to do, so just leave me alone and let me do it. Idiot.”

Kain felt a pang of something unpleasant at his friend’s sharp tone. “I don’t see why this is such a big deal to you.”

“It just is, alright?” Tsuzuki blushed and coughed. “Or...it’s not, but I want to do it, so shut up. I still owe you for letting those two brats rent out your room that one time. This is my way of repaying you.”

“Repay me by giving it up.”

“No.”

*** 

Two weeks later still, and Kain had grown used to his friend’s newest brand of nonsense. Rather, he had come to think it was cute how hard Tsuzuki was trying to do this for him, despite probably having figured out that it was impossible for him to do. A small smile crossed Kain’s face, but his stream of thought was interrupted by a pained groan coming from the other side of the counter.

“God dammit, Kain. Can’t you just close your eyes and pretend?”

“What?”

“That I’m whoever you want me to be.”

Kain smirked and batted his eyelashes. “Do you want to make love to me that badly, Shougo?”

“Don’t try to seduce me, you flash bastard!”

“Keep trying, then.”

Tsuzuki huffed, but turned his eyes grudgingly back to his copy of the Tibetan Book of the Dead.

“I can’t believe you used to be a priest.”

*** 

Kain arrived at the cafe to find the door unlocked and the lights on, but a certain someone missing from behind the counter.

 _That’s odd,_  he thought. He sat down at a table by the window, lit a cigarette and unfolded the morning paper.

***

Two minutes later, said someone burst through the door, carrying an assortment of random items, hair strewn about his half-shaven face.

“I’ve got it!” he bellowed. “I can finally go through with the transformation! The ritual will begin momentarily!”

Kain stifled his laughter in one hand.  _He’s finally cracked._  “Let me know if you need any help.”

“Hell no! You’re gonna sit right there, put that goddamn newspaper down, and watch me as I prove you wrong!” He watched intently as Kain peered up at him, sighed, and folded the newspaper. Kain clasped his hands and waited. “Good. Now,” Tsuzuki said, “I will require the following five items: a white sock, a tanuki figurine, a bottle of floral perfume, a moist towelette, and 24 oz of my new beef stew.”

“Mm.”

“I will place them on this...thing.” He gestured to a plastic mat with a pentagon printed on it, and Kain couldn’t stop himself from snorting.

“Don’t talk; just do it. I have an appointment in an hour.”

Tsuzuki glared, but arranged the items on the mat and began chanting a string of meaningless syllables, at which point Kain buried his face in his hands. He uncovered his eyes just in time to see his friend make a series of complicated hand gestures over the items.

 _Is he stealing this shit from_ Naruto _? Seriously?_

The room fell silent. Tsuzuki sat, hunched over the mat, his eyes shut tight and small pants falling from his parted lips. Slowly, he raised his head and opened one eye to look up at Kain.

“Did it work?”

“Uh.”

“Do I look like the man of your dreams?”

At the other’s words, and the look of unmistakable hope in his face, something clicked.  _Oh._  Kain’s face softened, and he rose gracefully from his chair, only to kneel next to Tsuzuki and cup his face with one hand. He cringed at the butchered state of the man’s beard, but hid it with a smile.

“You know what? I think it did work,” he pressed a gentle kiss to the other’s lips and traced the subtle blush of his cheek with his thumb. “Thank you, Shougo.”

“D-don’t mention it.” He coughed. “So.”

“Mm.”

“Do you want to…uh.”

Kain chuckled. “No, I don’t want to have sex.”

“Oh, uh, right. I mean. I could try imitating the other guy’s mannerisms if that’d help. Is that what you usually do?”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant that I have to leave in thirty minutes, and that even if I could stay, this would be enough. To kiss you, to touch you, to see your face every morning and every evening. I could go without sex for the rest of my life if it meant I could do this every day.”

The other man was uncomfortable. He tried to quell his curiosity, to tell himself it didn’t matter—that the name of whoever Kain had in mind wasn’t important because it wasn’t his own, because he didn’t know the names of anyone else Kain knew, because he didn’t know where Kain went or who he was with when he wasn’t at work or at the cafe. Yet he couldn’t stop the question as it pushed itself past his lips—

“Who—ah. Who am I right now?”

“Hm?”

“Who are you seeing?”

“You wouldn’t know him.”

“Oh.” A sadistic part of Kain’s personality relished the way the man’s face fell upon hearing those words. “What do I look like then?”

Kain hummed. “Full lips. Dark hair. A charming smile, and a body to die for.” The sadness grew on Tsuzuki’s face with every word, casting his eyes downward and dragging his mouth into a frown even as Kain traced his features delicately. Kain resisted the urge to prolong the pain, and pulled away suddenly. “You look exactly like yourself, only with a better shaving job.”

“Shit, it didn’t work?! And I was in a rush to buy the items! I didn’t have time to fi—”

Kain rolled his eyes and pressed another firm kiss to the other’s lips. “I just confessed my love for you, you big oaf.”

“Wh—”

“Shapeshift into the one I want? Ridiculous. I had to watch you struggle with this for over a month,” he scoffed. “You can’t shift into what you already are, Shougo. You are the only permanent person in my life. As if I could love anyone more than I love you.”

At this point, Tsuzuki appeared to be on the verge of passing out. He couldn’t formulate words, let alone sentences, and his pink face formed an ugly contrast to his pitiful facial hair.

Kain had never found anything so endearing in his life.

He pushed Tsuzuki back into a sitting position and straddled his hips—not sexually, but intimately—and buried his face into the crook of Tsuzuki’s neck. When he spoke, his voice was a teasing whisper.

“Will you accept my feelings? Or will I have to take your incoherent sputtering as a rejection?”

Two strong arms wrapped around him. “Idiot.”

“That’s the only sensical thing I’ve heard you say since before you started that creepy chanting.”

“Shut up.”

 


End file.
